My
forty-three years have been eventful. From
surviving a right-at-death experience to sharing
with thousands of people through my business or
talks I have given, I have lived out my own
journey while listening to others share their
struggles and victories. Everyone has such a
unique story to tell, and too often those
stories go untold, even to those closest to
them. I have noticed some common things that we all seem to share. We believe our private struggles are made to be... well, private. We think no one cares or that people would judge us, or that folks might not think so highly of us if they knew the real me and what I was REALLY thinking.
But the problem is…they are thinking the same thing. Those people sitting beside you at dinner? They are going through the same sort of struggles you are. When people get permission to communicate authentically, it is amazing how fast walls come down and true relationships are formed. And if there is one thing we are missing in our families, our neighborhoods, our churches and our workplaces, it is community. The feeling, no, the knowledge, of knowing there are people locked in with us, helping us to live our lives in a way that is conscious, real and full of freedom.
We also share a sense of aimlessness, a drifting. Oh, we are awake to our careers some of the time, and we hear what our children say occasionally, but we are so dazed and confused by the haze of activity that surrounds us like dense fog that we are merely trying to get to the next thing, whatever that may be. In the process, we lose ourselves, our purpose, our dreams. As a result, we are present a LOT, but we aren’t really there. We aren’t engaged, grabbing our purpose and our heart and hanging on to it like our life and our living depended on it.
And it does.
My experience says that a lot of people would not guess that about you. You might have picked up some trophies or awards along the way, shown everyone how successful you are, just how together you have it. But once I got to know someone and hear all of their story, I found out that no one like that exists, and the pressures we put on ourselves to give that aura are just mind-numbingly exhausting.
My son Ben, now 16, used to sit in his car seat in the back and anytime we took a trip he deemed long, say over 6 minutes, he would sit with his sippy cup and stare into the rear-view mirror and say “How Much More Longer, Daddy?”
And that is what I aim to ask you in the following pages, through my story and some questions I have about yours.
How much longer are you going to go on living this way? An unfulfilled promise, dreams that you think are simply out of reach or that you gave up on? Or living for hollow purposes, and not even the goals that are yours, goals that are someone else’s agenda instead of your own?
Come along. I invite you to my story.
I bet you find yours too.
Steve Elder
June 2009
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Advance Praise for How Much More Longer:
“As conversational and simple as rocking and talking on a front porch with a friend, Steve Elder takes you to a place called change. He shows us the desire in each of us to live fully, love deeply and lead well the lives we are created to step into.”
– Chip Dodd
Author, The Voice of the Heart and Executive Director-Center for Professional Excellence
“If you want to see honesty and authenticity, read this book. If you want to laugh, read this book. If you don’t mind being challenged to stretch and grow, read this book. For me, reading this book was a painful look in the mirror and a breath of fresh air. After reading this book, I feel like I really know Steve—and I know myself better too.”
– Keith Madison
National Baseball Director, SCORE International and Head Baseball Coach, University of Kentucky
“Steve Elder writes with such “down to earth” candor that you get caught up in his story. Then you realize it is not so different from yours. His humorous, introspective and honest approach is refreshing and challenging. We need men who will be honest about their humanity. Men who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves and talk about their mistakes and the lessons learned. Steve is one of those guys, and he speaks the refreshing language of an authentic heart in a way that invites you right in—to his story and yours.”
– Russ Lee
Recording Artist, Lead Singer, Newsong
“Life’s too short to learn everything the hard way. This book will shorten your learning curve.”
– Brady Cooper
Pastor, New Vision Church